


Changing

by Wushu76



Series: Learning Trilogy [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 07:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wushu76/pseuds/Wushu76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Change is the universal constant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changing

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2007.

Change is the universal constant.

The only thing John knew would never change was change itself. Things changed after Rodney’s marriage. Things changed for the worse for a long time. It took them almost two years to find and repair the fractured friendship that they had both valued so much.

When the marriage was something measured in days, John couldn’t even be in the same room as the happy couple. It was like watching a distorted mirror, everything he’d never admitted he wanted, there on display for everyone to see, except it wasn’t him at Rodney’s side.

When the marriage was something measured in weeks, the honeymoon was over. The team resumed off world duties but the playful banter, the easy rhythm of their earlier missions was gone. The control that John had managed for the wedding was gone, Rodney’s hurt was clear.

When the marriage was something measured in months Rodney and John spent two weeks imprisoned in a room hardly big enough for one. They yelled a lot. They bickered a lot more. They fought and memorably Rodney blackened John’s eye. He’d deserved worse.

When the marriage was something measured a week from a year, for the first time since Rodney’s visit to his room, since Rodney had ended everything, John went to Rodney. He asked, nicely, for Rodney to give him some time, for them to talk. For John to talk.

Change is the universal constant.

That conversation and the number that came after brought an understanding John had lacked before, perhaps about anyone. Rodney had said he deserved more, John knew enough to know he couldn’t argue, as much as he hated its truth, a truth that needed to be acknowledged, spoken aloud.

However it wasn’t until he finally talked with Rodney, made the effort to talk when he didn’t want to, when he’d rather have done just about anything else, that he truly understood what it had meant. It also gave him a more painful understanding of just how true those words had been.

Their conversations brought John more hurt than he had been expecting, but it also gave him something more. More than understanding, more than Rodney’s forgiveness, something Rodney assured John, had apparently been there for the asking since the start, since the end.

It gave him Rodney in a way he’d never had another person. Although their relationship lacked the physical now, they were both very careful to not touch, that way lead damnation, the desire between was stronger than ever, it was more intimate than ever before.

John could honestly say he now knew Rodney better than he had ever, EVER known another living soul. More surprisingly, he could also say that he had let Rodney into all the places of his soul he’d hidden from everyone. Rodney knew him now because John had told him, finally.

Change is the universal constant.

He learnt how to get along with the person who had everything he wanted. He learnt to be happy for Rodney’s happiness, even if he wasn’t with him. He learnt that although he wasn’t the most important person in Rodney’s life, he was important, it had to be enough.

He learnt that to be with Rodney, actions alone weren’t enough. Rodney needed to hear the words that John had never offered, never even realised that Rodney suffered from there lack. He learnt that knowing for Rodney, meant talking, meant being told and telling in return.

John wondered if they would have ever managed to get here if Rodney hadn’t broken things off between them. If he would have ever learnt to give Rodney the communication he so clearly needed. Realised in a relationship his partner’s needs were just as important as his own.

He had Rodney in ways he’d never had another person before. It was beyond friends and if it wasn’t quite what he’d dreamt about it was something he had never had before, it was almost enough. It was the most rewarding relationship John had ever known. It was enough.

Rodney wasn’t meant to meet him; Katie had been off world, due to return a few hours before him. John wasn’t prepared for the face that stared at him. That always expressive face completely white, not a single emotion showing, except those blue eyes. Blue eyes that were screaming at him.

Change is the universal constant.

“She’s dead.”


End file.
